Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer,
It's the dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn't understand.
His son is working for the Daily Mail,
It's a steady job but he wants to be a paperback writer,
It's a thousand pages, give or take a few, (Frere)
I'll be writing more in a week or two. (Jacques)
I can make it longer if you like the style, (Frere)
I can change it round and I want to be a paperback writer, (Jacques)
If you really like it you can have the rights, (Frere)
It could make a million for you overnight. (Jacques)
If you must return it, you can send it here (Frere)
But I need a break and I want to be a paperback writer, (Jacques)